Buhay Alamang: Pinoys' Classic Eating Manners

By: Danny S. Villanueva

We Pinoys have these distinguished eating manners. The following are my unusual experiences:

(Life in Rotary) During my stint as a district officer in Rotary covering Central Luzon, a guest at a District dinner in San Fernando, Pampanga who was seated next to me politely turned to me.
"Excuse me, did I get your name correctly?" the guest asked me, "Is your name Rotarian Danny?" "Yes," was my response with a smile.
"Is it Danny Villanueva?" he said. "Yes," I nodded and smiled again to further confirm it.
He said, "Are you the noted district's authority on manner s and protocol?" I said, "Yes," and I added, "Why do you ask?"
"Because," he said, "you have just eaten my salad." Ay mali, dyahi to-i! # DSV

(Life in GE) A problem professionals face during eating parties is that people often try to get free advice. At a GE cocktail party at Manila Polo Club, one guest was introduced to me. After chatting for a few moments, the guest gave a little laugh and said, "You know, the color rendition of the lights at the lobby of our hotel is not that good. The decorative plants around look pale. The walls, oil paintings and drapes look drab. There seems no color of life. Could it be the kind of lights I used? I wonder…. Maybe it's nothing."
"It could be anything," I said. "But I cannot tell you which one. I am an electrical engineer and not an illumination engineer. I am sorry for not being able to help you.
"Oh," replied the guest, "Well then, what do you think is good for my electric generator that produces unusual sound..….." Naloko na po. #DSV

(Family Night out) One Sunday night at Cabalen, an 'eat-all-you-can' restaurant at Katipunan, Ten-ten stood up with her almost empty plate, explained, "MacArthur!" A few moments later, Bing followed suit going to the buffet table, declared, "MacArthur!" Then I saw Cathy, Eloy and Mark together shouted, "MacArthur!"

When Sabrie saw Mark for the third time rose up and said, "MacArthur!" she said, "Oy, oy, oy! Could you tell me, kung ano ang ibig sabihin nang 'MacArthur' na iyan?" I winked at Sabrie and said with a hand salute, "I shall return." Hahahaha. #DSV

(Life in Tarlac) Certain nature of Kapampangan is being able to indulge in silly "pahanginan" or "payabangan" while partaking foods. Everything for fun, I guessed so. At Paradise Resort, I attended a "kamayan" party (eating with bare hands) and observed with gusto the repartee of the guys in one table. One gentleman quipped, "Mas masarap magluto ng sisig yung Lolo ko. Yung luto niya pinadadala sa Hotel Intercontinental sa Makati." A seemingly sophisticated gourmand retorted with pride, "Wala yung Lolo mo sa Lola ko. Yung Lola ko yung sisig niyang niluluto pinadadala pa sa Malacanang para kay President Erap! "

While engaging at this kind of repartee, the sophisticated gourmand saw a cup looking coconut shell with hot water in it and several calamansi fruits on the side which were being used by others for "hinawan ng kamay" mistook it and prepare calamansi juice out of it. "Ano ba naman ito? Wala naman ka-class-class nitong restaurant na ire. Lemonada lang hindi pa tinimpla," he complained and drank it bottoms up. Naloko na po. #DSV

Ditseng Pearl, can you add more to this list? You once mentioned how the Pinoys ran off with the plates and cooking utensils during your recent Labor Day picnic in San Jose. That's for the books! Hahahaha! #DSV