Have you done your New Year's Resolution

By Danny S. Villanueva

PTG, our community, would always have a Council planning session for the coming year, which we called “plenum”, to be done before the year end. And there is the midyear plenum to review performance versus plans of the first half of the year, and to rehash the plans of the second half of the year as new opportunities develop. Our community has been using this remarkable management tool for many years now, since the start of PTG. As active participant to this annual activity, what would always come to my mind is the probing question: Ikaw naman diyan Danilo, what are your personal plans or resolutions for the coming year? Naku po, wala pa pala po akong nalilista!

I would recall that from elementary up to high school, as students we were thought how to make resolutions by our teachers. This created the yearly habit of self examination, looking back to the past- asking ourselves, what happened, have we fulfilled or abandoned it? And more importantly, we look again towards the coming year reflecting on the changes we want and the goal we would like to achieve.

A resolution is a kind of short and long-term promise or commitment that we make to ourselves at the beginning of the year. There are many kinds of resolutions. One sort of resolution has to do only with oneself to improve health condition, like losing weight, taking vitamins, exercising more, or watching less TV. Other resolutions might involve community, family or friends. You can resolve to be more patient with people around you, to be more helpful to your parish, or not to get into gossips with people. Some resolutions can be as simple as getting to meetings on time, being more environmentally responsible and to something more uplifting such as going on regular fasting and to confession and attending teachings, recollections and retreats.

How about you, do you make new year’s resolution? Already February 2009, I had a few in my list needing to be finalized still. Dilly dallying? Maybe. This could be a clear case of being still uncertain on things I plan to do. I am sure that I will be able to finalize it by end February. Well, nobody's perfect! For a lot of people, the beginning of a new year seems like a good time to think about changing. That's why people make resolutions in January, February or during the whole first quarter of the new year. As they say- better late than never; however, better never late. So my list must now include a promise that as early as December, I should try to have a final list of my new year’s resolution.

What is your success rate then? Have you achieved your goals on a yearly basis? Based on my own experience, my success rate varied to about 20-30%. I read that a certain research group showed a normal average success rate of 15% only. Hmmm, it looks like I was a little better than the average. But better target 100% this time, why not?

Grandparenting Our First Grandchild, Margaret

By Danny S. Villanueva

On November 4, 2008, Sabrie and I finally have become legitimate grandparents with the coming of Margaret, the first baby of our youngest child, Mark and his so meek spouse- Rachel. Even before the baby’s birth, expecting our first grandchild created so much excitement, anticipation and preparation. Our heads and hearts were so full. I remembered when my daughters would happily scramble to find or coin a baby’s name. On the other hand, Sabrie kept a growing list on what to acquire for the baby- a new crib, and all those starter sets of clothing and paraphernalia for a new born. She made arrangement with Ate Pat and Kuya Ves for Talon hospital’s pre and post natal services, and selected a competent OB-Gyne. This exciting news spread among my siblings abroad that made my brother in California to quickly acquire, pack and send a full balikbayan box of baby clothes and goodies.

Our hearts and minds are somewhat full because the role of parenting and grandparenting have just started. With Mark, Rachel and Baby Margaret living with us in Tarlac at this time, the situation has become more subtle as we allow our adult son and daughter-in-law to make their own decisions. But our influence as grandparents remains strong and there are so many information and wisdom to impart to the new parents.

With the arrival of the new baby, or I may say- the birth of a new Christian family, our good Lord made it happen that Mark would have a good job in Mabalacat, Pampanga. But at a glance, there are other minor questions, like- whether Rachel should quit her job in a bank in that far Laoag, Ilocos Norte, aand be employed in Tarlac or stay home is clear cut. Whatever, we believe and hope that our good Lord would always lead them to right decisions.

It is said that being a grandparent is the best gift in one’s life. And while most seasoned grandparents will readily agree with this statement, the prospect of becoming grandparents can be also difficult for first-timers like us. What remains in Sabrie and my mind and heart, to somehow ease this concern, is Tatang Conrad’s advice to allow the baby’s parents to be responsible mainly for the caring of the baby, and we can just only assist as necessary as the new parents are in the learning stage. Thus the question: how to help without becoming a hindrance.
Sabrie and I had long experience living with my parents in Manila from the time we started to have children up to their early schooling. My mom and dad, as grandparents, indeed, afforded them certain privileges, but with them came some cautions. They did offer their help all the time, but they learned not to be upset if their offers were refused by us. They had to keep in their mind that the grandchildren were theirs, but they were not the parents.

We are resolved that we have to give things a little bit of time as new grandparents. This major life change for me and Sabrie will take some getting used to as grandparents. We do not expect everything to fall into the right places immediately. We need time to adjust to our new role, with the Lord’s love and caring hands.